


Pauses, Then Says

by Signsofsam



Series: I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends To This) [24]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Drabble, Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, Slice of Life, Words are hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27479464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signsofsam/pseuds/Signsofsam
Summary: It’s hard for Eddie to say “I love you” sometimes. He’s not sure why, but he’ll be there, lost in something Buck is saying, or fascinated by the way his boyfriend does something with Chris or by himself, and the words get caught in his throat.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends To This) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584202
Comments: 15
Kudos: 182
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Pauses, Then Says

**Author's Note:**

> So....writing is not going well. It's like I start off with this great idea, write a few hundred words, and then everything completely falls apart. 
> 
> But, I did a small, itty bitty little thing, so I thought I'd share.
> 
> Title is from _You Are In Love_ by Taylor Swift, which is just *chef's kiss*. Also, the longer title would be _Pauses, Then Says (He's in Love)_.

It’s hard for Eddie to say “I love you” sometimes. He’s not sure why, but he’ll be there, lost in something Buck is saying, or fascinated by the way his boyfriend does something with Chris or by himself, and the words get caught in his throat. It was the same way with Shannon, though he didn’t want to say it all time with her like he does with Buck. He shows affection so easily, a touch on Buck’s arm or running a hand through his hair or even fisting into shirt as he presses him against the firetruck, searching out a few more kisses before their shift starts, but he goes to speak, to say _I love you_ and absolutely nothing comes.

And Buck is never disappointed, simply smiling brightly and leaning in to peck a small, soft kiss, a murmured, “I know,” telling him it’s okay, he understands, and he’s fine (Buck doesn’t need to hear the words _I love you_ all the time because he sees the love in everything else; Eddie is love for him personified).

And sometimes the words aren’t a problem at all. Some nights, he murmurs “I love you,” into Buck’s skin, pressing kisses across his shoulder, his neck, as he trails down his chest and stomach. Some nights, he whispers them as he comes apart in pleasure, floating in ecstasy. Some days, he says “I love you,” as he’s handing over a perfectly made cup of coffee and ruffling Chris’ hair. 

The fact that some days the words come and some days they don’t frustrate him to no end. He can’t stand the part of him that stops the words, because he wants to say them every day, all the time; he wants to scream it from the rooftops how much he loves Evan Buckley.

Tonight, they aren’t coming, but the breathless “ _E_ _van_ ,” does as he watches his boyfriend, a whispered confession in the peace of their room. Buck’s just about asleep, exhausted from a long shift and wrung out, relaxed and boneless from their _other_ activities, but he turns to Eddie, eyes endlessly blue as he watches him open his mouth, _try_ , sigh, and close it again. Their lights are dampened, but Buck can see the tears and he just wishes that Eddie knew. He wishes that he knew that he didn’t need to hear the words from Eddie because they were evident in every other word that was said, from the morning greetings to the ‘did you sleep okay?’ when Evan was on shift and Eddie wasn’t to every time Eddie yelled at him for doing something boneheaded on a run. 

_I love you_ is everywhere.

And even though he’s tired, bone-deep tired and ready to sleep for an hour or twelve, he reaches out, fingertips lightly brushing Eddie’s cheek, fingers curling around his jaw. He smiles as Eddie leans into the touch, but he continues down, pausing over the scar from his wound from the war, and he feels himself leaning forward to place a kiss there, another above his boyfriend’s beating heart.

“Please,” he whispers, catching Eddie’s eyes again. “I know what you mean even when you can’t get it out. I hear it everywhere when it comes to you. Every word you say is I love you. You don’t ever have to add more; I don’t need you to. I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, I'll be back soon. I have ideas for a Christmas fic, but I'm hoping to get another one out before now and then, so we shall see. Thanks in advance for all the comments/kudos, and if you want, come follow me [here](https://signsofsam.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


End file.
